Airheadedness from my Tween-age kid over the last week:

Cam:  “These binoculars don’t zoom anything in, they just make it bigger”
Us: “What?…. That’s what they’re meant to do”
Cam: “No.. I mean all they do is make it look like you’re standing closer to the object”

Me: “Cam can you watch the water filling this container and stop it at the 8 litre mark please while I pop outside to hang the washing out please?”
Cam: “OK”
Me: “Seriously don’t leave it because it fills quicker than you’d think – EIGHT litres, yeah?”
Cam: “Yeah OK”
Me: (Returning from outside to find the container at 10 litres full and filling) “CAM?”
Cam: “What?”
Me: “YOU’RE MEANT TO BE WATCHING THIS WATER”
Cam: “What water?”

Wil: “Cam, can you go and clean the Guinea Pigs out please”
Cam: “What Guinea Pigs?”
Wil: “The ones that have lived in a hutch in our garden for the last 4 years”