Do you see the time of this post? It should say 06:43AM. That’s right, not the crack of dawn but the crack of MY dawn in where I enjoy an hour of peace and quiet from about 06:30 onwards before any other noisy bugger that gets up. Except this morning Wil has already got up and called his mother at her sisters in Lincoln to wish her happy birthday.

Now the room is filled with EXTREMELY LOUD OVER HYPED CONVERSATION AS THOUGH THEY WERE TRYING TO COMMUNICATE VIA THE MEDIUM OF POLYSTYRENE CUPS AND A PIECE OF STRING. Using comments like ‘OH EYE’ and ‘BAH, THAT’S A GOODEN’ repeatedly, loudly and with a very emphasised midland accent that I never hear from Wil unless he’s on the phone to a family member. This is what people from north of the Watford gap seem to do when communicating with eachother – SHOUT…IS IT BECAUSE THEY WERE ALL YEARS BEHIND IN RECEIVING MODERN TELECOMS up there in the dark ages?

Apparently a weekend visit is imminent and we’re going to be ‘sortin’ soomats out’.

‘We’ or ‘Ren’?